One Day Women Will All Become Monsters

That day has come and gone. I swear they are out to get me. I really don't want to type all of this, but I fear I must.(I'm losing people I thought I could trust) If you get that reference, then I love you.

First order of business! Music.
Broken Iris is amazing. I'm so in love with them that it's nowhere near funny. Listen to The Eyes of Tomorrow, A New Hope and Beautiful Girl, if you want to try them out. Adam Roth, the lead singer, actually commented me on Myspace. He made me life right there.

Skillet's new album Awake is amazing. Some of the songs are a bit too much like their old ones, and sound the same, but Hero, Monster and Awake and Alive are absolutely amazing songs. I'm seeing these guys on the 30th, so I'll tell you how that goes.

Three Days Grace also just released a new album titled Life Starts Now and it also has the same symptoms of Alive. I love Break, The Good Life and Last To Know, but the rest of the album is very monotonous.

Eye Alaska's album Walk Like a Gentleman is really great if you're into their genre. The songs that stick out for me are Walk Like a Gentleman(Who'da thunk it?), Rocky Road, Show Me DaLuv and Roll Right Over.

Dance Gavin Dance has been an obsession of mine. I haven't gone a day without listening to every song off their album Happiness. It's so beautiful that it's not even funny. Listen to Strawberry Swisher Pt.1 & 2 and Don't Tell Dave and see if they're your style.

Bo Burnham is amazing. I'm seeing him the 16th and I'm close to peeing myself every time I realize that. He is hilarious and cute! Hehe.

After the death of Chiodos(They kicked Craig out! Yeah, I know it's the worst thing since Jesus died), I have only Cinematic Sunrise, Isles and Glaciers and The Sound of Animals Fighting to continue my love for Craigery Owens. CinSun has an amazing album out titled A Coloring Storybook and Long Playing Record. Try it out, seriously.

Onto the teenage angsty drama! What fun!
I am not trying to start anything with anyone. This is exactly what the giant text on the top of the page says: UNNECCESARY MIND BARF.

Virginia broke up with me, for starters. No more on that subject.

Literally the day after, a new girl(No comment on if she is included in the aforementioned post) told me she "liked" me after some slight probing. We got to talking about some things, mainly me telling her that I wasn't ready for a relationship right after I got out of one that was so perfect. So I told her I'd tell her in some way when I was ready. After a few slight blunders, I pulled myself together and told her I didn't plan on "asking her out". I told her I'd just kiss her, considering that would convey my point a lot better.

After hanging out a lot, mostly from me stalking her, I found some clarity and decided to kiss her. It wasn't magical, it was actually quite horrid. We missed both times, and it really was not a good time. She was nervous, and shaking when I tried to hold her hand after. The next day she was cold, so I pulled her closer to me and it was kinda awkward, so I pulled back after a few minutes.

We didn't "date". It was maybe three, four days. She then told me that she wasn't ready for a relationship and needed to find some sanity before she could date. I understood and wasn't upset at all. I can be patient...sometimes... And I was willing to wait. She is totally worth waiting for.

This whole time, there have been times where I get frustrated at her for various reasons. She messed with my empathy. I'm extremely empathetic. I see things in people. Not her. Not then. She was always a veil of blindness to me. I can't stand that. I can't help someone who doesn't convey their emotions. It's not possible. She says what's on her mind, sometimes, sure. But it's not clear, it's generally vague and in all honesty, annoying.

So, keeping in mind that I was almost just going to give up waiting because of her frustrating tendencies, she shows clear signs of having a crush. On one of my best friends in the world(Who is a girl. Yes, it's okay for two girls to date you republican assfuck). To this moment, I am ecstatic for that girl. I think she deserves every moment of happiness. But there was an issue with it, and that was that my friend was the one to confront me. I figured she would, but I didn't want her to. I wanted to be told by the girl I had already fallen for. It really bugged me that she didn't do it herself. But I never told her that.

Oh, and to set all this off, there is a rumor going around about me that goes back to when Stephanie and I were hating one another. She told a lot of people that I threatened and raped her. That is so far from true that it's not funny. Anyways, it went around and the girl that still manages to make me stutter from the inside out told me to stop talking to her. I freaked out, and went on a warpath until I could remedy the damage that it had caused.

This should all be over and done with. All of it. I'm over the situation. Sure, I'm not over the girl, but that's not my "fault". That's just a part of life. I wish I could go back and change my actions. I would never have gotten caught up in any of this, and I wouldn't feel like this. But, hey, I don't have Dr. Manhattan's powers. I can't tell a tragedy will happen when something beautiful slides into my life.

I really want this all to end. Stop being sorry for yourself, girl. You didn't do anything wrong. I should have known not to get involved with someone so goddamn gorgeous. The more attractive, the more it hurts to see them go. At the same time, it will make me extremely happy for her when I get to see her smile and laugh with her new girl. I'll just look away when they get really close. Can we rewind to when I could just sit with you and make you laugh, just so you will smile that radiant smile? When you're willing, let me know, although I doubt you'll read any of this.

And, again, I have a crush. I'm not going to pursue it. Not now, not any time soon.

And you, reader... I love you, now. You have made it to the end of this rant of emoliciousness. I just hope this doesn't get twisted into something it's not.