Reintroduction.

It's about a week and a half until school. I should be out with my friends, with some ending summer party or at least able to walk the quarter mile to Taylor's to stay a night. No. I get to baby sit. Or I get to stay home because Shauna just "feels like it". She's retarded. She feels the need to assert dominance over me every day of my life because she has some stupid syndrome or something. She should go suck a fat one.

So summer has been less than savory. Yes, it has included the best times of my life in it. Virginia and I in Kelso being the best, I'd have to say. The two days we spent with my best friends was amazing. I love those guys, and I love that girl. It was practically perfect.

At the same time, each day at home progressively got worse. Do you know any teenager that had to wake up at 10 every day or be punished for it? In his own house? And the punishment would last at very least a week, once it was two weekends because I babysit every other day. I couldn't go anywhere for two weeks because I slept in. Yeah, that's just one of the bullshit rules here.

I don't have anyone or anywhere to be my safehouse, either. Not consistently. They would never let me go anywhere at a constant rate. Never. I can't be in a production in drama at school because I wouldn't be able to get to rehearsal. I can't do any extracurricular activities because they won't drive me. And I go to a very active school. It's bullshit. A lot of bullshit happens here.

And nothing I say gets through to them. No matter what I do, it's always my fault. I react to something in a way they don't like and they'll steal everything away from me. I want to scream at them, tell them they're being sadistic morons. Make them see through the cloud of ignorance they've created through the years we've lived here. They don't listen. They don't think ahead of themselves. What are the other kids going to turn into in this environment? I have been practically conditioned through it, but the other kids will have serious mental scars. They'll grow up ignorant and just as full of hate.

School is my refuge. But it's temporary. I can't live there like I would like to. My friends help me through the times when my guard falls and I fall into a slump, but I shouldn't have to depend on them. I can, but I don't want that to become a constant.

I think I'm done here for now. Next post is on the ignorance of religion and specifically hatred towards gays. Not kidding.

Bai.

Warped Tour '09

If you haven't heard of it, die. Now. And brace yourself. This is a long post.

List of bands I saw before I forget:

• 3OH!3
• A Day To Remember
• A Skylit Drive
• Aiden
• Alana Grace
• Alexisonfire
• All Time Low
• And Ive Landed
• Attack Attack
• Bad Religion
• Bayside
• Big D and the Kids Table
• Black Tide
• Breathe Carolina
• Broadway Calls
• brokeNCYDE
• Cash Cash
• Chiodos
• Dirty Heads
• Echo Movement
• Escape The Fate
• Every Avenue
• Forever The Sickest Kids
• Gallows
• Hit The Lights
• I Set My Friends On Fire
• In This Moment
• InnerPartySystem
• ivy league
• KIA Kevin Says Stage
• Left Alone
• Less Than Jake
• Longway
• LoveHateHero
• Madina Lake
• Meg and Dia
• Millionaires
• NOFX
• P.O.S.
• Plugin Stereo
• Saosin
• Scary Kids Scaring Kids
• Senses Fail
• Shad
• Shooter Jennings
• Silverstein
• Sing It Loud
• Single File
• Streetlight Manifesto
• TAT
• The A.K.A.s
• The Architects
• The Devil Wears Prada
• The Maine
• The Reverend Peytons Big Damn Band
• The White Tie Affair
• There For Tomorrow
• Therefore I Am
• This Providence
• TV/TV
• Underoath
• Valencia
• VersaEmerge
• We The Kings
• Westbound Train
• YB
• You Me At Six

The lineup this year was love/hate. Either I loved the band or I hated them, with very few grey areas. I hated brokeNCYDE, Escape the Fate... The list goes on. I did not watch many of these bands, but did see them around. A lot of them sucked. With a name like All Time Low, what do you expect?

We started our journey near the end of the massive, sidewinding (insert more words for LONG) line. I had tried to get Jenny and my aunt to move faster, but they are what most people know as "delay fish". They delayed and delayed until we got there, at a far back position in the line. And when I say far I mean at least two to three HUNDRED people were in front of us. That's how big of delay fish they are. The line was going to easily last an hour or two. Then, seemingly falling from the heavens, a guy comes up and tells us about a way to cut the line. We pay $5 and we get into the VIP line which is around, oh, fifty people long. Yeah, that's it. We got in at around 11:10. Doors opened at 11:00. Which is around when we originally got in line. That's a whopping ten minute wait. For ten bucks? Deal. Oh, and we only had $14 for food. Soo... We didn't eat. But we were in the front for Chiodos. The reason I went to Warped. I was in the front of the main stage. Big deal. I was in the mosh for most of it, and got my first official bleeding wound in there. I think it was around the time of the wall of death... Hehe. So, for around one song(Chiodos was playing Bulls Make Money) I went over to Scary Kids Scaring Kids. Good band, great vocals. I think they were one of the only bands to sound almost better live than in studio. I went back to Chiodos as they finished(not the good way).

After Chiodos we walked a bit. I am trying desperately to say that we saw Silverstein next, but I'm not sure. If I get these out of order, don't get mad at me. In all honesty, I'm not entirely sure. I didn't buy a schedule, I mooched off other people's, cause they're nice. Anyways, we did see Silverstein, and it rocked. We saw Black Tide, which has a 16 year old kid for a singer. He's a badass, so you know. We saw Gallows, where Jenny got pulled into the biggest circle pit I have ever seen and probably will never see another that big. The guy who rammed into her got a facefull of Sierra Mist. We maneauvered our way around, sneeking peeks at LoveHateHero, We The Kings, Alexisonfire and a few others. Then VersaEmerge's time came around, a sort of small time band that sounds better than old Paramore already. They are more mature and, well, sexy.

We got around to seeing Aiden. They were simply amazing. They rocked their little stage better than any band before them. Even In This Moment didn't compare, and they are an amazing band as well. The Fall of Troy, as always, sucked live. Absolutely sucked. They don't do their vocals right, butcher the guitar parts... The list goes on. I saw a bit of Anti-Flag and NOFX, and for some old(er) bands they were really good. The last band I really wanted to see was The Devil Wears Prada, but we were tired and left. On our way out we thought we caught parts of Attack Attack but after replaying my memory, it was actually I Set My Friends On Fire. Absolutely love them to death.

After Warped we went to the Indian Festival on Pioneer Square. Ate some delicious Indian food, got some ice cream, cuddled a bit and now my beautiful is watching Death Note while I type this. These are the times I will cherish and recall when in need.

I'm not very

Interesting, now am I? My posts are very drab and boring. I guess I tend to not throw in any of my "juicy" details. It's just all drama crap that licks ass. I hate it. I do have fun a lot, yes, but rarely is it "stellar" or "really awesome". It's generally me just hanging out with one or two friends. I did spend around four days with a fat kid named Toby, but that was just us hanging out playing Halo and Civ Rev. More often I'm arguing with my girlfriend late into the night because my parents can't know we're together, or trying to make plans and failing miserably.

My relationship is strained. Very strained. I haven't spent any real time with her alone in... over a month. And it doesn't look like I'll be able to any time soon. My parents would murder me if they knew about her, so it's extremely hard to be with her. It doesn't help that I keep being reminded of other people's great relationships, either. That, and I have girls I haven't talked to in a long time coming out of thin air and proclaiming their love to me. Those girls just add to the hatred factor, really. They don't know me, never have and never will.

I love Virginia. I really do. Every time we're together, I never want our time to end. But it always does. And always will. And now it seems that every other time we talk on the phone she has "doubts". I've never had a girl tell me she doubts the relationship, so naturally I think that she's telling me she wants out, but she denies that. She says she wants to be with me and stuff, but that it's really hard to be with me because of our distance and situation. And now that she's not in school it will be twelve times harder.

So I turn to my outward experiences to get my mind off these things. I try to surround myself in people who are genuinely my friends, and who can submerse me in a world all our own. It's a temporary fix, generally. And it has backfired more than once. Example? GASP.

I am a part of a camp at UO called SAIL(Summer Academy to Inspire Learning). It's awesome. They pay me fifty dollars to go to the college and make fun of the presenters, and the other kids there are really great. Last year I went I was having relationship issues with Steph, and I developed a crush. Of course, right? Just like me. And this year... It didn't just go away. I wish it had. And she's really happy with her boyfriend. I have literally zero chance with this girl, but she's still on my mind. And is fucking sucks. It's the opposite of deus ex machina in that she didn't fix anything, but has clouded my judgement. She doesn't know anything, either, and I'm not giving out her name. I'm still trying to sort through my conscience, so don't blame me if in three days I change my whole perspective.

And that's just the romantic side of me.

Naturally, I have music that I must recommend, because what blog is complete without music?

RED - Death of Me
Breaking Benjamin - Polyamorous(Very apparent in my life, eh?)
Skillet - Thist is Taking Over & Open Wounds
We Butter The Bread With Butter - Breekachu
The Fall of Troy - FCPREMIX
In Flames - Come Clarity
As I Lay Dying - The Darkest Nights
Disturbed - The Night
The Gay Blades - O Shot
Danny Elfman - The Little Things

That's it from me today. I'll try to update more consistantly.

Although, Joe is the only one who might read this. Hehe.